Learning
It has almost been a month since my last post, yet it feels like a few days ago! October has gone by faster than I eat a cookie. A lot has happened since then- so here's a speed update on my life. I went downtown and to the zoo. I went home for a whole 10 days (PTL) and then came back to a few days of Fall Revival at ORU. I found out my missions team- Liberia. I have found out a lot of things about myself. I applied to be a Chaplain (yay!). And I prayed. A lot.
I had originally planned to write about something completely different for this week; however, when I was finishing my Chaplain application last night, the Lord shifted my plans and showed me his. The application had me write a short essay on what God has been teaching me in my present journey. Now, honestly, I am going to copy and paste some of my essay because I hadn't really thought about this in a while. What has God been teaching me? What have I been learning?
"I am learning to wait on the Lord with patience and trust. If I try to walk in my will, my life will be in shambles. Even when I feel like I know the next step, it may not be the right one. I am learning to trust and depend on God fully- in everything. He knows the future and I do not. He knows the fullness of His plans and I only have a glimpse of them. He wants me to enjoy the now instead of living in times past and times future. He is teaching me how to live in the present.
I am also learning to hear God’s voice and to trust that it is His. I have a big decision to make about what missions trip I will be going on in the summer, and I am waiting on Him to tell me. My Prayer Leader told me today that God is EAGER to talk to me- EAGER. I had never thought of God being eager to talk to me. I know He constantly thinks of me, but I had never thought of Him waiting for me to be still and to listen. God wants to talk to me; He wants to hear my voice. Just as He showed Elijah, He does not always come in the wind, the earthquake, or in the fire, but would rather come in the still voice- the whisper. I must stop and listen to that voice because our relationship is a two way relationship."
For the past month, I have been praying about what missions trip I should go on. I was presented with the opportunity to intern with an organization, King's Castle, and I have always wanted to do that. Another opportunity came up, Côte d'Ivoire, which excited me because it is my desire to go to Western Africa. And lastly, I signed up for ORU Missions. I had heard about their great program- their team building, preparedness, and the sense of family. So, I signed up, and they chose Liberia for me- which was not on my list. Last week, when I found out my trip destination, I was extremely frustrated with the Lord. I had heard NOTHING. NOTHING. Where should I go????? No answer. I did not get the trip I wanted, but did that mean the Lord was directing me somewhere else? After all, it's not truly about the destination but about the ministry.
I am still not completely sure on where I will be going this summer, but I have chosen not to go to Liberia. The whole time I was praying, I heard a quiet "no" to ORU missions, but I ignored it. Why? Because I thought it was my own voice. I knew ORU missions would be great- I could become a leader next year, it was different than anything I have ever done, and I knew I could grow there. Surely, surely, it wasn't God telling me "no." But, it was. I had no peace about it, my parents said "no," and every time I thought about it, I heard "no." What seemed best to me was not the best God had for me. Who knows where my summer will take me (not Liberia), only God knows.
I must live in the present and focus on His will for me now. If I hadn't taken my head out of the future- the possibility of leading, of going to Africa, of being with a team- I would have never heard the answer in the now. Waiting on Jesus is probably one of the hardest things I will ever do. Living in the present is also one of the hardest things I will ever do. But, if I want to hear God's will for me in future, I need to be present in the present. God is speaking to me now. He is excited to speak to me now. Like, Whatttttt????????? God wants to talk to me????? I am amazed every day at that fact. He wants to spend time with me. And He wants to spend time with YOU.
I could go on and on and on about God's desire to sit with me and my amazement at it, but it is true. And, maybe I should start to make and effort to sit with him. Maybe, just maybe, I should schedule my schedule around Jesus instead of scheduling Jesus around my schedule.
Verses:
1 Kings 19 {Hearing the Whisper}
Psalm 45 {We are His Bridegroom}
Please tell me if you have any prayer requests or if the Father is speaking to you!! I encourage you to set aside time today to worship God, and to let the Holy Spirit flow through you.